Introduction:

Divorce is a legal action to terminate the marriage relationship between married people. It is always an upsetting moment that shows your loss and disappointments towards your dream and expectations.

            In a divorce, there are financial, legal, emotional, practical, and parental challenges that require energy, time, and changes in your responsibilities. Some people may take a year to regain equilibrium.

Do you know why divorce is so painful?

A divorce can be the most emotional and stressful event in your life. Whatever the cause of your breakup, whether you were willing or not, the breakup can activate your unsettling and painful emotions.

Divorce is the loss of a partner, commitments, and dreams you shared. A breakup creates an unsafe feeling in your mind. It feels like everything that belongs to you is destroyed. Your extended family and friend circle, home, responsibilities, and even your identity had a change. Doubts come into your mind about your future.

What life will be like after divorce? Will you have a new start? Will you be alone for the rest of your life? These questions can worse that tense situation.

Causes of divorce:

According to research, the common causes of divorce are the lack of commitment, intimacy, incompatibility, and infidelity. Other main issues include financial difference, conflict, abuse, and addiction. Many couples articulate the main reason behind their separation as a betrayal of hopes, dreams, and expectations for their marriage. 

How to deal with a divorce?

• It’s okay to express your feelings:

No relationship is 100% perfect. It is normal to feel angry, sad, frustrated, exhausted, and other intense emotions. You maybe worry about the future. These emotions will lessen with time. Even if you were not happy with your relationship, you would feel all these situations.

• Give a break to yourself:

No one is superwoman or superman, give yourself some space, take your time to heal, re-energize yourself, and regroup. Time is the best healer for every situation. Give yourself a chance to restart your life and forget everything that would affect your future.

• Don’t struggle alone:

If you want to get through this hard time, share your feelings with others. Try to be in a company that feels your emotion; understand your struggles. Isolating yourself is not a solution. It can increase your stress level, affect your health, and reduce your concentration by getting into your work.                   

Don’t be afraid if you think you need help from a psychiatrist.

• Move on:

Maybe you are newly divorced, and you have gone through this. Divorce doesn’t mean your life has stopped. You have to move on. There would be a stage when you think you have to move on and made a new start. That’s the time when you built a new relationship with someone.

• A new start:

After divorce, negative feelings are normal. Try to feel them and learn a lesson from them. Divorce doesn’t mean the end of your life; it is the end of your past relationship. It opens the door to your new start. Instead of looking back, take a step toward your future.

            If you can do this, this would be a step toward fulfilling a new relationship.

• Accept the responsibility:

No one is perfect; we all have regrets. Maybe you were the poor communicator, the one who acted poorly, or the one who cheats in a relationship. Instead of all these things, you are still pointing fingers towards you. Then you are still trapped in your ex-partner. Instead of blaming them for every situation, accept your responsibility, and move on.

• Try to practice forgiveness:

If you still have fury, bitterness, and hatred for your past relationship, there would be nothing you can offer to your new relationship. I admit it may be challenging to forgive someone, but it is not that hard. You have to get rid of the toxic emotions that hurt you, whether it is about you or your ex. If you are stick to your past it emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually stops yourself to start a new relationship.

• Encourage yourself:

Divorce is simply the death of your past relationship, but you are very much alive. It is crucial that you not only encourage yourself but also polish the outer and inner you. You can do this by practicing self-care.

Ensure that you are getting a healthy diet, getting good sleep, and having ample exercise. Massages, facials, and medications help you to relax. Getting back with the friendly help you to move on. Their love, support, and the company will act as a therapy to your wounds.

Divorce effects on children:

According to the experts, it doesn’t affect children to live with a single parent. However, family conflicts affect their physical health, mental health, school, self-esteem, and future relationships. To better your child, you have to reduce your disputes.

The demand of child during a divorce:

• Your child needs both of you to get involved in his life. Ask him a lot of questions through call, text, email, or whatever works. If you don’t do that, it will create insecurity in his mind. He will see that he is not essential in your life.
• Try to get along with each other on matters related to your baby. When you fight in Infront of your kid, he may consider himself as the cause and feel guilty about it.
• Your child wants your love, support, and time to enjoy with you. Don’t show your emotions and jealousy in Infront of your child.
• Don’t use your kid to send messages back and forth between you and your ex-partner; please directly communicate with him.
• When you are with your child, don’t use mean words for the ex-partner, when you use unkind words, he might think that you are expecting him to take your side.
• Your child wants both of you in their life. He wants both of you to raise him, teach him the importance of things, and solve his problems when he was in trouble. He wants you to pat him when he achieved something in his life.

When you are with your child:

Avoid blaming:

It is essential to be honest with your kids, but without being harsh. It can be challenging to be kind to the person who hurt you a lot in the future. But you have to bear this for your child. Don’t play the blame game in front of your child.

Be united:

Try to agree in advance as much as you can on the reason for your separation and stick on it.

Explain your reason:

Be in respect to your partner while you give the reason for separation. Talk with your children about the changes in their life but talk with them according to their age so that it doesn’t affect your child.

End words:

Separations are frequent all around the world, but this not the end of your life. There is a new start waiting for you. Try to step forward by forgetting your past. Be kind to your life as in the end you have only you.